Myths and Facts About Domestic Violence

1. Battering is rare.
   Fact: Battering is common. l in 3 U. S. women are assaulted by their partner.
2. Domestic violence only happens in poor or "dysfunctional" families.
   Fact: Battering happens in rich, white, educated, professional and respected families.
3. Battering is about couples fighting on Saturday night.
   Fact: Battering is about one partner beating, intimidating, and terrorizing the other on an ongoing basis.
4. Women are just as violent as men.
   Fact: The male is the perpetrator in 90 % of reported domestic assault cases.
5. The victim's behavior brings on the violence in the family.
   Fact: Only the perpetrator can control the violence and is the one who must stop.
6. Domestic violence is usually a one-time event, an isolated incident.
   Fact: Once violence begins, it usually gets worse and more frequent over time. It is an ongoing pattern calculated to gain power and control.
7. If a victim stays in a violent relationship, she must like it.
   Fact: Leaving an abusive relationship is a process. The average victim leaves 6 to 8 times before she is able to stay out of the relationship.
8. The community holds the abuser (the criminal) accountable for abuse.
   Fact: Every system blames the victim by asking why she doesn't leave or stop the violence
9. If a victim wanted to leave, she could call the police or her religious leader.
   Fact: Many people still do not believe that abuse is a crime. They do not want to intervene and believe that women should obey and stay with their partners.
10. Men who batter are often good fathers and should have custody of the children
    Fact: At least 70% of batterers also physically abuse the children; all children suffer emotional abuse when the mother is assaulted.
11. Battering is caused by mental illness, alcohol, stress or anger.
    Fact: These are excuses; most abusers don't assault their co-workers or bosses, only intimate partners.
12. If a victim really wants to leave, she can just pack up and go.
    Fact: Victims know that they face the real possibility of severe physical harm or death if they leave; 75% of domestic homicides occur when the victim is trying to leave the relationship.

Fact: Abusers isolate their partners, depriving them of assistance from friends and family.

Fact: Abusers consistently demean their victims, destroy their self-confidence and deprive them of opportunities for acquiring education and job skills.

Fact: Child Care and housing are often unaffordable for victims.