Personalized Safety Plan
The following steps will increase my safety and prepare me in advance for the possibility of further violence. Although I do not have control over my partner's violence, I do have a choice about how to respond to it and how to best get myself and my children to safety.
Name:
__________________________________________
Date:
__________________________________________
Review Dates:
__________________________________________
Step 1: Safety During a Violent Incident
A. If we are going to have an argument, I can try to move to a space that is lowest risk, such as____________________________________.
(Try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchens, near weapons or in rooms without access to an outside door.)
B. If it is not safe to stay, I can _______________________________.
(Practice how to get out safely. What doors, windows, elevators, stairwells, or fire escapes would you use?
C. I can keep my purse and car keys ready and put them ___________________________ so that I can leave quickly.
D. I can tell _____________________ and ________________________ about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my home.
E. I can use ________________________________________ as my code word with my children or my friends so they can call for help.
F. I can teach my children how to use the telephone to contact the police and the fire department.
G. If I have to leave my home, I can go ______________________________________ or _________________________________________ or ________________________.
(Make this decision, even if you don't think there will be a next time.)
*Use your judgment. If the situation is very serious, give him what he wants to calm him down. Protect yourself until you and your children are out of danger.
YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE ABUSED.
Step 2: Safety When Preparing To Leave
Victims frequently leave the residence they share with the abuser. Leaving must be done strategically in order to increase safety. Abusers may strike back when they believe that a battered woman is leaving a relationship.
A. I can leave money and an extra set of keys with ______________________________ so that I can leave quickly.
B. I can keep copies of important documents or keys and some extra clothes with __________________________________________.
C. I can open a savings account to increase my independence.
(In a different bank from the one that you and your spouse use jointly.)
D. Other things I can do to increase my independence include: __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________.
E. The domestic violence program's hotline number is ___________________. I can keep change for phone calls with me at all times. I understand that if I use my telephone credit card, the following month's telephone bill will tell my batterer those numbers that I called after I left. To keep my telephone communications confidential, I can either use coins or I might get a friend to permit me to use his/her telephone credit card for a limited time when I first leave.
F. I can check with ___________________________ and ______________________ and ________________________________________ to see who would be able to let me stay with them or lend me some money.
G. I can sit down and review my safety plan every ______________________________ so that I know the safest way to leave my home.
H. I can rehearse my escape plan and, as appropriate, practice it with my children.
If you tell your partner that you'll leave him if he ever hits you again, think about whether you're giving him permission to hit you "just one more time."
Step 3: Safety In My Own Residence
A. If my partner no longer lives with me, I can take action to ensure my safety and my children's safety in my home. Safety measures I can use include:
1. I can change the locks on my doors and windows as soon as possible.
2. I can replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors.
3. I can install security systems including additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, an electronic system, etc.
4. I can purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from second floor windows.
5. I can install smoke detectors and fire extinguishers on each floor in my home.
6. I can install an outside lighting system that lights up when a person is coming close to my home.
B. I can teach my children to _____________________________ when I am not available.
C. I can inform _______________________ and _____________________________ about who has permission to pick up my children.
D. I can teach my children how to use the telephone to make a collect call to me and to ____________________________________ in the event that my partner abducts them.
E. I can inform ___________________________ and ____________________ that my partner no longer lives with me and they should call the police if he is observed near my home.
Step 4: Safety with a Protective Order
A. I can keep my protective order __________________________________.
(Always keep it on or near your person. If you change purses, that is the first thing that should go in.)
B. If my partner breaks the protective order, I can ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________.
C. If the police are not responsive, I can _____________________________________.
D. I can inform ____________________________________ and _________________ that I have a protective order in effect.
E. If my partner destroys my protective order, I can get another copy from Circuit Court.
Step 5: Safety on the Job and In Public
A. I can inform ____________________________________ and _______________ and ____________________________ at work of my situation.
B. I can use voice mail, a receptionist or co-worker to help screen my telephone calls at work.
C. When leaving work, I can _____________________________________________.
D. If problems occur when I am driving home, I can ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ .
E. If I use public transportation, I can ______________________________________.
F. I can also ________________________________________________________.
Step 6: Safety and Drug or Alcohol Consumption
The use of any alcohol or other drug can reduce a victim's awareness and ability to act quickly to protect herself from her battering partner. The abuser's use of alcohol or other drugs may give him an excuse to use violence. Therefore, in the context of alcohol or other drug consumption, the victim needs to make specific safety plans.
A. If I am going to consume alcohol or other drugs, I can do so in a safe place with people who understand the risk of violence and are committed to my safety.
B. I can also _________________________ or ______________________________.
C. If my partner is consuming, I can ________________________________________.
D. To protect my children, I might _______________________________________ or _______________________________________ _______________________________________.
The legal outcomes of using illegal drugs can be very hard on a victim, may hurt her relationship with her children, reduce her credibility and put her at a disadvantage in other legal actions with her abusive partner. Therefore, women should carefully consider the potential cost of the use of illegal drugs.
Step 7: Safety and Emotional Health
A. If I feel ready to return to a potentially abusive situation, I can ____________________________________________.
B. When I have to communicate with my partner in person or by telephone, I can ____________________________________________.
C. I can try to use positive self-talk with myself and be assertive with others. I can tell myself that I don't deserve to be beaten whenever I feel others are trying to control or abuse me.
D. I can read ______________________________ to help me feel stronger.
E. I can call ____________________________________ and __________________ and ___________________________________ as additional resources to support me.
What I Need To Take When I Leave
- Identification for myself
- Driver's license
- Passport(s)
- Social Security cards
- Welfare identification
- Money
- Jewelry
- Address book
- Credit cards
- Checkbooks
- Bankbooks
- Keys - house/car/office
- My birth certificate
- Children's birth certificates
- School records
- Medical records - for all family members
- Medications for my children and me
- Lease, rental agreement, house deed, mortgage payment book
- Work permits
- Green card
- Divorce papers
- Insurance papers
- Pictures
- Children's favorite toys and/or blankets
- Items of special sentimental value
- Small sellable objects
I can keep my items in one location. If I have to leave in a hurry, I can grab those items quickly.
IMPORTANT TELEPHONE NUMBERS:
___________________________________________
Police Department @ School:
___________________________________________
Police Department @ Office:
___________________________________________
Domestic Violence Hotline
___________________________________________
Shelter:
___________________________________________
Other:
___________________________________________
Adapted from "Personalized Safety Plan,"
Office of the City Attorney, City of San Diego CA